The Coldest Winter Ever (394-413)

     Winter has a problem and it could have been the end of her. Staying in a mentally abusive relationship and doing whatever for money is what would soon get Winter locked up for 15 years. To think that this could have been avoided if the word "No" was spoken.
     After Bullet decided to unlock Winter from the apartment he took her for a walk. After scaring her in a tone that she loved he asked her to do a drop off with him. This drop off was taking a trip out of stat to exchange drugs and guns for money. When asked if she would do it with him she got a bad feeling; however, she still agreed to do whatever that Bullet wanted. So in preparing for the trip Bullet took Winter back to Brooklyn where Winter the person who use to rule Brooklyn no longer felt safe. So after Bullet left to go to his second apartment to pick up some things Winter got distracted. This led Simone who still held anger to Winter for letting her stay in jail smash the window of the car that Winter was in. After a while Winter was winning the fight until Bullet came back and Winter got distracted by looking at him to provide protection like he provided everything else for her. That was when Simone got a broken glass bottle and swung it across Winter's face. That was when Bullet fired his gun in the air and everyone scattered. As he ran over to help winter and her now bleeding face the cops arrived. This was when Bullet hopped up, walked across the street, and then down the street like nothing ever happened and he did not know what was going on.
     Winter was thrown in jail because i rental car that she was now leaning against  was rented in her name, had drugs stuffed in teddy bears, and weapons in the trunk. If she simply said the truth Bullet would have been arrested and Winter would have been let go. Now 250,055 days into her 15 year sentence she was stepping outside of prison for her mother's funeral. This was like an awful family reunion. Everybody was there, Winter, her father, 3 sisters, and dead crackhead mother in a casket. This is where Winter got to speak to Porsche her younger sister who always wanted to be like Winter following exactly in Winter's footsteps. That is when Winter thought, "But I wanted to warn her about certain things in life. Usually I'm not at a loss for words. But I didn't feel good enough to tell her what I really thought. I knew what she would think: Winter, you're just saying that' cause you're in jail. Winter, you're just saying that because you're old. ...Winter you're just saying that because you're jealous. So instead of saying what I had learned, what was on the tip of my tongue, I said nothing at all. .... She'll learn for herself. That's just the way it is." (Souljah 412-413). Winter finally learned her lesson and it was just to bad that it took her loosing her freedom to realize it. Now her sister is going through the same thing and unfortunately she will probably end up the same way. Using men and only careering about the superficial things in life will only end badly.
The End.

The Coldest Winter Ever (pg 346-394)

     Winter only looking out for Winter and the fastest way to do that has gotten herself into even more problems than she even knows. Being with Bullet is like being in jail. He is over protective, suspisous, jelous, and not the type of person anyone should be with.
     Bullet has Winter locked up in there apartment and her every move is being watched. Winter found out that she was three months pregnant and new it was not Bullet's baby because she was not with him three months ago and new if Bullet found out he would kill her. On top of that he was trying to keep her away from her father by not telling her what prision he was at. So after getting and abortion Bullet grew suspisous because she was not home when he called. Also the doorman who Bullet pays to be his little spy told him that Winter kept leaving the apartment. Bullet even had to violent pitbulls gard the no pets allowed apartment so that she could not leave and on top of that Bullet did not return home for two nights and three days. This ment that Winter was left home straanded in her room for three days with out any food.
     So when Bullet finally came into the room Winter said, "Im hungry'.., which had Bullet reply, 'Oh, so you remember who feeds you, with Winter helplessly saying, 'I never forgot" (Souljah 392). With things like this happening one would think that Winter would try to get out of this horrible relationship; however, she stays because he takes care of Winter whom believes that is all a man should do for her. This is all going to put Winter in a bad situation that she can not get out of and all because of Bullet and her thinking will soon change for people have said to Winter time and time before that gold diggers who also can not do anything for themselves, will end up repaying the supporters some how and with Bullet it could be with Winter's life itself.

The Coldest Winter Ever (pg242-346)

     Winter still absessed with money and using people still is not living right. She has no job, degree, or place of her own. Insted she is living off of people and beging the gold digger that her mother trained her to be.
     Living with Souljah is not as bad as Winter thought it would be. She had all of the conections, a nice place, and Lauren as a friend. Laurn is Souljah's sister who is more like Winter than imagined. After a few months Winter was getting closer and closer to her goal of getting enough money and getting back in touch with Midnight who Souljah had more connections to than she was letting on. So Souljah was having an AIDS fundraiser where Winter was a colector and with about $7000 in her basket she stole the majority of it and even recieved a check for all of her work.
     On Winter's way back to the mansion to get her stuff she walked into Lauren who Souljah called the trickster for a reason that Winter would soon find out. Winter packed her studd and told a lie that she was going to see hger mother in the hospital. Lauren being suspicious mad Winter help her  with some boxes. When Winter was not looking she checked her bags and saw all that cash. So Lauren took all that cash and put bottles in the bag so Winter wouldm't notice the weight change. Winter only figure this out while she was on a bus going to Jersey. The next day it was Winter's birthday of which she forgot and a man that she ws using called  her to congratulate her and come and pick her up and take her to key west. Bullet the guy she was using said, "You know you mine's now' with Winter thinking, '...Bullet thought that he had to fight to make me his girl. I'd lett him believe it, too. Little did he know, I was when he pulled the whip around the bend" (Souljah 345-345). The only reason was because he had money, would take care of her, looked good, and she had no better offers. Winter was falling back into a cycle that her father had warned her about before which he warned would not work out. He said that she had to make her own and getting it from others never last and would hurt her in the end unless she could support herself.

The Coldest Winter Ever (pg134-242)

     Once again Winter is putting herself in a deeper whole when she needs to be climbing to the top. With Winter focousing on clothes, money, parting, and staying on top she keeps making mistakes. Her first mistake was to start talking to a revengful exfriends boyfriend (money train). This caused an anonomous source to call child services and report her location. This got Winter put in a group home for teens.
     In this group home Winter started what she would call her street hustle where her friend stole things and Winter sold the items to the people in the group home. Meanwhile Winter's once beutiful and eye catching mother has become a crackhead, her father is being transfered to prisions and her sisters are still with child services. Somione Winter's pregnant friend who stole stuff got caught steeling and needed Winter to bail her out of jail. Winter knowing she had a stash for the baby was not trying to bail her out knowing that she wasnt going to get that money back. So Winter just left her there not wanting to give up what she considered hard earned cash. So coming home one day almost late for cerfew 5 girls including pregnant Somione were waiting there to jump Winter and some people in the group home were in on it. So going back there after they left was still not safe.
     Now Winter is left at the Mercy of Sister Souljah who acasionaly took in troubled teens for a little while. Winter cant stand pitty or being pitied ecspecialy by Souljah who she can not stand because she believes is fake and views of life are all wrong all while Winter ironicly ends up in this situation. Winter doesnt think how her father tought her and it is really backfireingg on her. When Souljah asked her what was going on that a close friend brought her here Winter simply said, "It aint nothin'. Just some jealous girls at the place where I stay" (Souljah 238). This has always been her problem she makes every situation about her, unimportant, or even worse. When someone who is willing to help ask if there is a problem telling that there isnt a problem will not help. Winter likes to be private and that's okay but telling nothing is not going to help. It was interesting because the person who brought Winter to Souljah already told her everything so hiding what was told didnt do anything. Winter thinks becomeing 18 soon will help get her out of these situations but a number does not change choices being made. As soon as she relizes that she could grow up and take the help people are giving her willingly so she would not have to worry about those situations.

The Coldest Winter Ever (pgs1-134)

     This is a book by Sister Souljah about a girl named Winter Santiaga. Born and raised in Brooklyn New Yorks was winter raised as its princess and who she thought herself would soon be its queen. Winter was born in one of Brooklyn's worst snow storms ever and thats how she got her name. Her father was Ricky Santiaga  the biggest drug dealer in Brooklyn. She was truly a ghetto princess and everyone who new her father treated her like one.
     Winter's mother had her at 14 years old which she thought was fine because her man soon to be husband could support them all plus more. This was trouble for disaster because that was what Winter's mother tought her. Winter's mother did not work and Winter only went to schl when she felt like it. So her mother tought winter to be a miny her. She tought Winter not to date people below her and to use men  for what they could give her. With this type of teachings Winter thought that she was grown at a young age- seven to be exact. This might have been nessacery for a drug dealers daughter who was over protective. She learned that she kept family business in the family. Winter also knew to keep her father and mother's teachings seperate. This because Winter's father would kill or cut anyone who looked at his daughter to long and her mother tought her that this attention was good. With this being so Winter lost her virinity at 12. Winter had 3 little sisters who her parents made her watch since Winter wouldnt go to school. There were twin girls and another girl 3 years older than the twins who also felt that she was more grown than she actually was.
     With years going by and with the Santiaga business growing they moved out of Brooklyn. Winter and her mother knew that this was because of more than expanding drug rings. So now stuck in Long Island Winter and her mother were goiing crazy being isolated after all they were ghetto queens who needed their loyal followers to be intertained. The kids were fine because they all had huge rooms to intertain them. So in the last sraw Winter's mother demanded her new car of which wasnt in her driveway when she woke up. Santiaga was getting it after he made a quick "run". He new it was dangerous but his wife wanted to go so bad that he took her along. This is when everything started to go wrong. New people on the old block started coming up and wanted to test Santiaga, so on his run His wife got shot in the face. From there is just a matter of weeks Santiaga was arrested, the girls were taken away, Winter's mom was slowly goinging crazy, and Winter the ghetto queen in training was left out to survive on her own. If she listened to her father's lessions more than her mother's than this might not have been sso hard. So after it was set up for Winter to get some more cash she started thinking, "A winter outfit was gonna make me feel alright" (Souljah 118). So she spent the majority of her money on new clothes before she met with one of her father's workers called Midnight who she had the biggest crush on of which was definately not mutual. So when he met up with her there was a problem and now he could not give her the cash. So again she was trying to live off of her "sugar daddy" of which her mther always tought her to have even though her mother said she didnt need one because her husband was everything. Winter kept making mistakes that her father always warned her about. So she would have to fix that mistake until Mdnight could get they money that ws stored away that the FBI didnt know about.

Laughing in the Dark (214-295)

     Gaines needed to get her life back on track. To make this happen she had to do what ws best for herself and her child. In so the first step was divorcing Ziggy. Once Gainesd did this life kept getting better. Gaines ws getting raises at her new job at the Post, was making new positive friends, and enjoying time with her daughter.
      Then people started dieing and getting sick. Gaines's grandmother had 3-4 strokes and died. A few months before her grandfather died. Then so did her father just as their relationship started to become the best than it had ever been. Soon some of her gay friends who helped her emotionally in life were getting sicker from aids. Four of them died from it and slowly led Gaines back into depression. Life had become so great and then the people who helped make it that way slowly slipped away. This was effecting her work and Gaines was in jepordey of loosing her job. So in noticing that she was the most unhappy that she had been in a while she took a vacation. Then she woke up one day and relized that all the great people in her life that had passed di not want this for her and she knew that they were in a better place.
     After all of this happened Gaines met Chris who she believe that her friends some how sent to her from the heveans above. Over this difficult but love filled year Gaines learned so much met knew people, and finally learned how to love herself. In this being so Gaines relized that her time before this she could categorized summerized and put behind her and focous one the good and live off of that. This is when Gaines wrote, "... my life thus far could be broken into three parts: there was my childhood, when I learned that I was black and struggled to understand what that meant; there was my my young adult life, when I searched for the definition of a woman and what my relationship should be to a man; and there was this time, the exciting time, when I had gone beyound sexuality, beyond woman and man, to humanness" (Gaines 273). With this thought being reached Gaines had accepted herself, was writting a book, helping people in situations of which she use to be in, and marring someone she truley loved and became friends with before an intimate partner of which she believed made the relationship stronger. So now there is only so much more that could be reached because her understanding of life was learned and relized that it didnt have to be miseerable.

Laughing in the Dark (127-214)

     As these pages were read it was relized that Gaines grows up; however, she does fall back into her usual paterns that of course involve men. Gaines ws moving from place to place looking for jobs and better oppertunities. During this time she married two more times and before that made some very bad choices in the boyfriends that she chose.
     Gaines married her secound husband whose mother hated Gaines because she felt that Gaines stole her son away. He did not get along with Andrea Gaines's daughter but surprisingly her hateful mother'n' law took very good care of Andrea when needed. This was a bad marriage from the start for it was called off the day of and then they got married two weeks later. Once Gaines relized that he was crazy she had no choice but to leave for Andrea's sake. Then her boyfriend after her secound husband was a(n) ex pimp and tried to get restarted with Gaines. He tried to force her into this by whipping her. It was a good thing that a friend noticed the swellings, scars, and brusies and had her report the abuse. After this Gaines tried to get her life back on track. In doing this Gaines got a job which was owned by two all black owners. One was a father and the other his daughter. Mr. Cummings liked Gaines however Gaines did not feel that way about him. So he offered her money to have her go to dinner with him. In Gaines remembering her past she agreed. She was rapped twice and there was no justice. She felt that men had used her and always have and this was a way to use them before they used her. So Gaines started having sex with him for money and gifts. This shortly ended. After this Gaines wanted to be finacially supported with out a man.
      This all led to Gaines meeting Judy who Gaines felt to be a sister to her. They both brought out the best qualities in each other. Soon Judy and her child moved in with Gaines and her child. Then soon Judy met her future husban and Gaines met Ziggy her soon to be third husband. This is where Gaines who had came out of a slum was slowly moving back into one. Soon Judy moved out and Ziggy moved in. He only worked if it involved music for he was a musician. This ment that Gaines was left to pay all of the bills. Soon Gaines's job offered a better oppertunity in California. So in Ziggy not ready to move Gaines was left to support two house holds. During this time Gaines is raising Andrea and is now a reporter who feels as if she has betrayed her people. In an explanation Gaines said, "...I was forced to relize I was now different from the people out on the street.'Can you ever go home?'I kept asking myself. Could I br 'street' again" (Gaines 213). In the middle of  another marrige crisis, financial worries, and fears of what will become of Andrea because of fear that Gaines is not around enough Gaines now feels Guilt. She is no longer the person people are covering in stories but the person covering the stories. This all could truly send Gaines back into a deeper slum insted of the better life that she has dreampt of

Laughing in the dark (68-127)

     As usual Gaines was following the lead of a man and something went wrong. Ben the father of Gaines's child was doing heroin and got Gaines to try it. This was not a difficult task for Gaines just went along with it and said sure. So after enjoying it so much they started to do it on the weekends. Thank god they had enough sense not to get high around their daughter Andrea.
     During this time Ben and Gaines were at different places in life so they were living in different places. On a visit to Gaines's house ben brought a friend and some heroin. So after they shot up Gaines remembered that she made arrangements for them to go out to a concert. In wanting to go Ben told Gaines to hold they drugs and seringes in her purse. So of coures Gaines did what Ben pleased. Sitting high at the concert Ben and his friend left Gaines alone to go to the bath room. After an hour alone she looked over and relized that Ben and his friend had been busted for selling drugs to an under cover cop and thety were now making their way over to Gaines. Relizing that Gaines had drugs in her purse she ran out towards the exiting crowd. It was not hard to notice Gaines for  there were only three black people who attended the cocert of which two had just been arrested. They cought Gaines, gave her an exsessive bail, and she was imprisioned for a month and had a five month probation guilty plee insted of five years in jail. Once again Gaines relized that she was the one who suffered while Ben got of scot free. Ben could not be charged because he had no drugs on him at the time.
     Once out of jail Gaines relized how wrong her life had went. She was a brides mate in her ex-best friends wedding. She saw how happy Ginny was married, educated, had good supportive friends who did the right things in life, and succeding in life way better than Gaines. Life was now more of a struggle than Gaines ever imagined. She relized that just typing was not going to help support her and that having been charged with a felony would not get her a job. Gaines recalled going to interviews thinking that people would be understanding and then saying, "But employers didn't see it my way, and once interviewers took a look at my application, they said, 'I'm sorry' " (Gaines 127). This all made Gaines go back to school, try harder, and look back on her mistakes so that she would not make new ones. This was difficult, depressing, and an ordeal that Gaines was forced to face and was very helpful but or how long is the question.

Laughing in the Dark (pgs45-68)

     These next few pages told of Gaines growing more. It told of how she had to change to to fit in and how that was a difficult ordeal for her. Gaines talked of her peer presures and how she mostly gave in to. Gaines also talked about her next move in to a different neighborhood (again). This time things were different though. These kids were mean to the new kids on the block to see how long they would last and fit in. This is where Gaines met Ginny her new best friend. She did not like this initiation process and with out Gaines does not know if she would have made it. They had a lot in common. These were in clothes, music, thoughts, and most importantly to them men. They each looked for men to fill voids in their hearts of which they felt that their families left empty. Gaines and her father did not get along and Gaines did not respect the type of man that he was. For these reasons Gaines and Ginny went after men opposites of their fathers. In so Gaines met Ben and Ginny met Michael. They skipped school to be with their boyfriends of which their parents didi not aprove of. This was only half of the problem that Gaines relizes as an adult. She wanted to rebell against her parents as much as possible and be just like Ginny. Once Ginny had kept what Gaines thought was the biggest secret she thought that she had to do that same. Gaines writes, "Ginny had already slept with Michael. I was surprised and hurt because she kept such an important secret between us until Michael told Ben, who of course told me, and I pressured Ginny to tell me if it was true. It was the begining of a change in our relationship, a slight moving apart. ... If we kept secrets from each other, that meant girlfriends were no different from boyfriends; so carrying this disapointment with me, I moved closer to Ben" ( Gaines 54). This showed Gaines becoming weaker and more needful to fill another void in her hart. Every time that this happens Gaines runs to a man letting them control her taking her down the wrong path which hurted her even more in the long run.

Laughing in the dark pgs1-43

 These first two chapters tell of Patrice Gaines as a child. They show her growing from a small nieve child into an older too old to be that young of an adult. Patrice Gaines grew up during the civil rights error and for a while did not know it. Her father was a part of the marines and to them color was not important it was how one served their counrty. In this being the case Gaines' two best friends were white. This was until one of her friends Charlotte moved away because her family was shipped to another base. So all that was left were her and Lucy. This friendship also soon ended because as they grew up they grew apart. So as Gaines keeps moving because her father kept getting shipped out a lot of dramatic expirences happened to her. She found herself against her own kind and chooseing whtees because she was told by her white friens that she was better. Gaines later grows up and regrets that expirence every time that she thinks about it. The most dramatic expirences were her movings and sexual assults/abuse. For a child to move she must make friends, leave friends, make new ones again, and help her mother settle because she was the oldest. From becoming what people called her as a child to a young adult Gaines' father's friends abused Gaines whenever they could. On page 37 Gaines relived one of those expirences. In reliving her pst Gaines says, " He slipped his hand under my dress, up my thigh, and inside my panties. His fingers fumbled there, tickling the edge of my vagina. I played faster. In the kitchen my mother and father and other friends, unaware of what was going on just on the other side of that wall, laughed and joked. All I remembered is fear and shame. This was one of my parents' best friends and a man that I liked" (Gaines 37). This quote was important because it showed a dramatic expirence of which she could talk about and give a vivid picture. It showed the start of a bad road which this expirence might have caused. It also shows past tense writting that says she has overcome this horrible expirence.